Is the mojo making a comeback?

During the half term break I posted about feeling like I had lost my 'mojo' for teaching over the first 8 weeks of the year.  I had an immense response from NQTs, trainees and experienced teachers echoing my sentiments and giving words of support/advice.  The post was shared on the TES website (see link on 'My Writing Elsewhere' page) and got even more comments, this time from people I don't know at all.  I really appreciated it and am so pleased to see that something that I wrote for my own ends, to make myself feel better and get things straight in my own head has struck a chord with so many people.  That said, I'm not sure that in itself that is a good thing, should so many people be feeling this way about the profession?  Thats a whole debate in itself I'm sure.  Despite this, I still don't claim to write the views of all NQTs, maybe not even the majority.  This blog is, as it always has been, my space to let out my thoughts and if others read it and get something from it, that's all the better.

So, what did I do about the lack of mojo?  First I took some time off, I didn't touch anything related to school for the first weekend of the holiday and I made plans that would take me away from the computer from Friday night until Sunday afternoon of the weekend before the return to school.  This left me with the week days which I balanced between seeing friends and family and planning.  My aim was to plan all my lessons for the first week back and to have a clear picture of where I was heading for the rest of the half term, something I had struggled to do previously.  Moving to a new school with new schemes of work, classes, policies and procedures had meant that I wasn't able to be as prepared as I would have liked to have been before September.  Now that I've settled into the school and have half an idea of how things worked it was easier to plan for the half term.  I've not done this in spectacular detail, but enough to help me know where I'm headed.

When I was planning my lessons I reminded myself of the sorts of activities I used to include during my training, the sorts of things I enjoyed delivering and that the students were engaged with.  I spent quite some time taking templates for quizzes and other tools from the TES to replace the things I lost when I moved from using Notebook to PowerPoint.  Whilst taking lessons from the TES, why reinvent the wheel when there are excellent MFL lessons out there already?, I adapted them and added my own stamp to them.  The lessons that I planned felt like they were mine again and I was more enthusiastic to teach them.

I got things into perspective, thought about what had to be done and when.  I reminded myself of something I had learned during the last parts of my training year - you'll never do it all.  I will never be on top of a to-do list again, and I have to realise that it's ok!  I emailed a few people about things outside my department that I'd like to get involved in, things that whilst being work related would be enjoyable for me and remind me of the parts of school life that I went into teaching for in the first place.

Clearly I wasn't expecting a miracle cure. I knew that just getting it all off of my chest and changing the way I approached some things wasn't going to solve all my issues, but it certainly helped.  I didn't start the half term with thoughts of leaving and I've still not counted the teaching days left until Christmas (although I've been informed it's 20-something?).  I'm feeling better.  I wouldn't go as far as to say that the mojo is back and we're only a week in, I'm under no illusions, things will get hard again.  However, I've had a long week with a parents evening, some stressful days with behaviour and marking and the knowledge of a collection of data deadlines coming up and I'm not feeling like I want to jump ship.  That's an improvement, right?

I've got my next NQT observation coming up on the 19th, I don't imagine I'll blog before then but I'm sure I'll be turning to twitter for advice.  Looking forward to hearing from other NQTs about their mojo and how they're getting it back.

Getting my teaching 'mojo' back.

If I had been asked over the last few weeks if I loved my job I'd have said no.  If you'd have asked me if I was enjoying it I'd have said no.  If you'd have asked me if I saw myself staying in teaching past my NQT year I'd have almost certainly have said no.  Like many NQTs I was struggling my way through the last two weeks of a long half term and I just couldn't see the light at the end of the tunnel.  My worry wasn't that I couldn't do it all but more that I didn't have the motivation to want to do it.  I came into teaching because it was something I wanted to try, something I thought I might enjoy and not because it was all I'd ever wanted to do.  I'd lost my enthusiasm for teaching and all I was seeing were the piles of marking, the report data to be entered, the detention slips to fill out both in paper form and online and the emails to field about various members of my form group.

As an NQT it's very easy to get bogged down in everything that is expected of you and not see past it.    I set myself time limits in the evening and don't allow myself to work all weekend because I know that working myself into the ground isn't the way to go.  Maybe it's because of this that I haven't been able to feel on top of things, but even if I worked all the hours possible I'd still not be on top and added to that I'd feel awful too.  I can see how NQTs and more experienced teachers can run themselves into the ground with work, especially if teaching is all you can ever see yourself doing.  You want to feel like you're doing a good job, that you're achieving something and succeeding.  I'm gradually coming to the realisation that as a teacher that's not something I'm necessarily going to feel.  There isn't the feeling that I can work all evening but have something to show for it, the hours of work are put in just to get from day to day and that's something that I'll maybe have to accept.

For me, the major problem with this is that I have found that I don't have time to plan the sorts of lessons that I can be proud of.  I find that I am just getting by with planning lessons that are just OK most of the time so that I can get it all done.  This has a knock on effect as I don't enjoy teaching those lessons as much as I used to when I had planned something a little different, something with a variety of activities and something which the kids enjoyed more as well.  My classroom gives away the fact that I like to use lots of different resources and have things going on, my walls are covered with colourful displays and I like to experiment with different resources - I'm dangerous walking down the kids party aisle or going to a pound shop!  Any trace of these things had disappeared from my lessons of late and I was resorting to text book exercises and the like.  This isn't the teacher I saw myself being, and for my sake as much as the students I teach I wasn't willing to let this happen.

Over the last week or so I have taken some time to reflect on how I'm feeling about teaching and where I see myself in the future.  Right now I honestly don't know where I'm headed in the long term, I just know that for now I need my teaching 'mojo' back.  I need a kick start and another injection of enthusiasm.  I recognise that year 8 and 9 are my stumbling block and I need to find ways of enjoying these lessons more, this will probably start with being tougher on behaviour.  I've been given support with one particular class but I know I have a way to go with this.  Some of this is having new behaviour policies to get my head round and the accompanying paperwork which does nothing to help the situation and just makes setting detentions or removing students from class more of a hinderance than a help at times.  In contrast to this I know how much I enjoy teaching year 7 and year 10-13.  I know that these are the lessons where I can really experiment with activities and which give me something to stick my teeth into.  

This half term, as well as resting, I am going to use the opportunity to have a real think about what is coming up this half term and how I am going to balance the mediocre lessons with the ones that I can be more proud of.  

Added to this I aim to blog more.  Although this may not seem like a logical step for someone that is trying to cut down on work and use her time better I really enjoy writing and want to be able to get more involved in the ever expanding community online.  I think that continuing to blog will remind me of the things that I enjoy about teaching and why I find education so interesting.  Part of me regrets my decision to step back from NQT chat as this was a fantastic way in, but I wasn't able to give the time to it that I wanted to.  Once I get my hands on a project I like to make a real go of it, as much as this can be a great thing it's also dangerous for me as I'll dedicate everything I can to it.  

After attending ResearchEd in September and reminding myself of one of the things that I enjoy about teaching a Masters in Education is still on the horizon.  I've quizzed the Twitter community on how managable this is and with the opportunities for distance learning are around I don't see why I shouldn't give it a go come July/September.  I don't know where this Masters could take me but again, if it is something that continues to expand my ideas about teaching and education and remind me of the reasons I do what I do then it can't be a bad thing.

Excuse me whilst I open my planner, spread my schemes of work across the desk and leaf through a text book whilst I wait for amazon to deliver my latest education related book, I think it's time to get my teaching mojo back.